Here I am. I made it to work “on time.” On time, meaning I successfully had my mommy meltdown in the car, got myself together, and scuffled into work to hit the time clock before the 9AM mark, even though I look as if I’d been hit by a truck.
See, there is not enough coffee in the world to get me through this day. This morning marked (about) two weeks since we’ve slept. “We,” meaning myself and Wes. Daddy has useless nipples, so nighttime is blissful and peaceful for him. *Throws fists to the sky* I feel like my body is quitting on me. I don’t have an appetite, but I eat because my child needs to eat. I feel constantly dehydrated, but I’m chugging as much water as I can during the day. Mommin’ ain’t easy, as they say.
Since Wesley was born, he’s been sleeping with us in the bed. This isn’t because I don’t believe in putting him in his own crib, or because I can’t handle him crying for a little while. It’s because from the time he was two months old, he started having almost regular surgeries for his congenital glaucoma. Because of this, he would wake up writhing from discomfort, and nursing him was a regular thing in the middle of the night. His room, complete with a one-hundred percent set up crib, a slew of toys, and piles of books, was all the way across the house.
Yes, we have a baby monitor. Yes, I could have used it, and yes, I could have just simply gotten up out of bed every time he cried and maybe, just maybe, he’d be used to his crib by now. But guess what? I didn’t. He didn’t. We co-sleep, that’s where we are at ten months old. Get over it, here we are.
The problem at hand: teething! Oh. My. God. I swear, one morning I wake up and he’s got five toofers poking out of the gums and then I look at him twenty minutes later and another one has broken through. The human body is truly remarkable. Wesley will peacefully go to sleep around 8PM, sleep until about midnight, and then proceed to fidget all night. Let me repeat: all night. The only, and I mean only thing that will get him to calm down is to comfort nurse. So I do, I give him the boob. Then, just when 6:30AM rolls around, he gets still again, then dad’s alarm clock starts to go off.
The result: I’m left with back pain from tossing and turning, and only about thirty solid minutes of straight through sleep before I wake up, go back to sleep after five minutes, repeat.
The rest of the morning goes like this:
-Put (clean?) clothes on for work, brush teeth while grabbing things out of the fridge for the day
-Let dogs out, throw food in their bowls
-Wrestle with little gremlin baby to change diaper
-Hold little gremlin baby down while I give him his eyedrops
-Get everything in the car, probably forget something
-Get to my mom’s where his nanny comes and takes over and I rush to work
-Get asked if I’m alright. (I’m fine, I just haven’t slept in a month.)
No, I haven’t showered since last night. No, I haven’t put make up on in weeks. No, I don’t get help (but don’t get me started on that.)
I know that babies go through this hell of a time called teething, but hot dang, this is bad. In a perfect world, I’d be able to go through the day and stay home with Wesley. Stay home with him so I can fight this teething thing with him and get through it instead of having this intense feeling of guilt every time I leave him in the morning. I think about him all day. I fantasize about being a stay-at-home mom with all of the freedom to take the baby to story time at the library, to walk him in the park, to take a mid-afternoon nap.
But here we are. I’m working and he’s napping in his swing with his nanny watching him and updating me with endless pictures of his perfect little face.
All in all, teething sucks. It has me up at night, and I’m hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I’m just venting, but I’m also here to say that for other mommas who are going through this, we got this.
I don’t care if your kid sleeps with you, or in their own bed. I don’t care if you nurse or you formula feed, if you vaccinate or you choose not to. I don’t care if you use disposable diapers or you slap a cloth one on their booty. I don’t care if you plan to send your babe to public school, private school, or homeschool them. I don’t care if you stay at home, have a nanny, or send baby to daycare. Whatever you do, you’re doing the best you can, just like I am. We freaking got this, mama. Our babies are worth everything. Every battle, every tear, every little thing.
Also, teething, you can kick rocks. That’s all.
Teething helpers that have helped Wesley so far:
-Silicone toys that he can chew on. Target has some that range from $4-$8. They’re great to throw in the freezer.
– Frozen celery sticks. If your babe already has a few teeth, you have to be careful with this one because teeth are strong! Chewing on a little frozen celery helped Wesley when he was getting his first few teeth.
– The banana silicone “toothbrush.” It’s $9.99, but totally
worth it! It helps their teething and brushes their teeth, too.